At the end of my life, I want to be able to say that I finally figured it out. I want to be able to say that I finally figured out how to reach my potential, how to truly succeed. Something is holding me back, something must be changed. I need to figure out how to make it work.
What is it that I'm missing? What is it that I need to do? What is it that is going to make the difference in my life and in my work? What will make me come alive? What will make me feel as if I had lived the best life possible under the circumstances.
I can almost see it. It's just at the edge of my vision, but it's becoming clearer. The clarity of life is in the feeling of being at total oneness with the world, and in feeling that you are in complete control. Something has to be done. Someone must change.
And that someone is ME>
Tuesday, January 29, 2019
Monday, January 28, 2019
How Are We Going To Win?
How Long
Has It Been?
What's Left
To Defend?
Where Have
You Been
Since The
End?
I Remember
When
I Came Up
Then
Since Then
It Has
Only Been
Where Is
Your Inn,
My Friend?
Shall We Raise
The Din
Or Fall Out Of
The Bin
In The Skin
That We're In
And Be Told
That We'll Win?
In The End,
It Depends.
Has It Been?
What's Left
To Defend?
Where Have
You Been
Since The
End?
I Remember
When
I Came Up
Then
Since Then
It Has
Only Been
Where Is
Your Inn,
My Friend?
Shall We Raise
The Din
Or Fall Out Of
The Bin
In The Skin
That We're In
And Be Told
That We'll Win?
In The End,
It Depends.
Friday, January 25, 2019
Every Day
Every day I wake up and I just want to do the routine. The routine is what got me here. I was so frustrated, confused and demoralized late last year, when my building was condemned and I was forced to move. But the routine stuck with me that whole time. I was read, prepared to make the necessary adjustments. Nothing was stopping me at that point. I made myself into the man I am now. So much has changed in just two months!
Thursday, January 24, 2019
The Reality
The great thing about living today is that life is so incredibly easy. All you have to do is go to the library every day and read (and browse the internet).
Wednesday, January 23, 2019
My Future
I want to create the greatest life that I possibly can. I want to do the things that I know will truly make me fierce, unstoppable. I know what I have to do. I have to try. I have to work on myself and take action.
When was the most successful time in my life? I think 2017. That was the year that I wrote my first novel. It was not the hardest thing that I ever had to do, but it was certainly the longest thing that I ever wrote.
Who am I kidding?
College was my height, and always will be. I learned so many frigging skills in such a short amount of time. I was doing physics animations in 3D Studio Max, I was editing video and making sound effects. I was drawing. It feels like that was my height, but objectively it probably wasn't. I think that objectively, right now would be my height. For many reasons, I have reached unprecedented levels in my life.
Actually, I think that I can safely say that College was nowhere near my peak. I was confused and just wanted to be a "good boy". Now I can be what I want to be.
When was the most successful time in my life? I think 2017. That was the year that I wrote my first novel. It was not the hardest thing that I ever had to do, but it was certainly the longest thing that I ever wrote.
Who am I kidding?
College was my height, and always will be. I learned so many frigging skills in such a short amount of time. I was doing physics animations in 3D Studio Max, I was editing video and making sound effects. I was drawing. It feels like that was my height, but objectively it probably wasn't. I think that objectively, right now would be my height. For many reasons, I have reached unprecedented levels in my life.
Actually, I think that I can safely say that College was nowhere near my peak. I was confused and just wanted to be a "good boy". Now I can be what I want to be.
Tuesday, January 22, 2019
Who To Vote For?
Ultimately, I made a judgment call when voting for Trump. It was a decision that I was glad to make. At the time, nothing else seemed like a possibility. Trump just has a way of making himself last in your mind. It's amazing, really. The thing that I wish I knew was that a lot of the complaining that Republicans do is really fake.
Republicans spend a lot more time funding liberal causes than fighting them. Ultimately, it would take a different national outlook - or a different reality - for me to achieve that which I have set out to achieve. Something has to give, and I'm willing to make myself work hard to achieve that which I have set out to do.
First, I would say, when voting, follow your own principles. If you don't like whining, don't accept whining. If you vote for the whiner, that says more about you than them. Whining never helped anybody. It's work that makes life better.
Second, do some independent research. A lot of the time, whining only works on people who don't know the truth. If you know the truth about America/China relations, or America/World relations, you'll know well enough to see through the whining.
Why am I whining about whining? Well, I'm whining about whining to whine about whiners who drink wine and whine the whine of the times...
Republicans spend a lot more time funding liberal causes than fighting them. Ultimately, it would take a different national outlook - or a different reality - for me to achieve that which I have set out to achieve. Something has to give, and I'm willing to make myself work hard to achieve that which I have set out to do.
First, I would say, when voting, follow your own principles. If you don't like whining, don't accept whining. If you vote for the whiner, that says more about you than them. Whining never helped anybody. It's work that makes life better.
Second, do some independent research. A lot of the time, whining only works on people who don't know the truth. If you know the truth about America/China relations, or America/World relations, you'll know well enough to see through the whining.
Why am I whining about whining? Well, I'm whining about whining to whine about whiners who drink wine and whine the whine of the times...
Thursday, January 17, 2019
Am I A Zealot?
It could very well be that I'm a zealot, that I'm making my choices based on emotion, not logic. But it's not likely. The most reliable belief system that I have learned in life is that those who tell you that you are not responsible for your own actions are your real enemy. The person who claims that racism is the reason why a black child can't read or can't stay out of juvenile hall as that child's mortal enemy.
The person who says that will do a complete 180 when it comes to their own kids. Only the best schools. Only the best tutors. Only the best nutrition for their own families. Only the best real estate. The actual point is that blacks were around 100,000 years before the first white person was born. There was no "free lunch." There were no food stamps or Link cards or SSI checks. We've already proved that we can do it.
It will happen for us one way or the other. We will find out what it's like to survive and thrive as successful people.
And when we do, watch out!
The person who says that will do a complete 180 when it comes to their own kids. Only the best schools. Only the best tutors. Only the best nutrition for their own families. Only the best real estate. The actual point is that blacks were around 100,000 years before the first white person was born. There was no "free lunch." There were no food stamps or Link cards or SSI checks. We've already proved that we can do it.
It will happen for us one way or the other. We will find out what it's like to survive and thrive as successful people.
And when we do, watch out!
Wednesday, January 16, 2019
Global Economic Collapse
What would I do tomorrow if the entire world economy shut down. Before you call me a crackpot, let me say that there are a lot of shady things going on financially in this country, and in the world at large.
Without going into too much detail, we're in trouble. And we know we're in trouble. We don't have the resources that we say that we do, and the ones we do have are running out. Yes, I am a conservative (in the literal sense) so I wish to conserve.
But what would I do? I've been reading up on it, and I think the best thing to do would be to stay near a source of water. You know what they say about the Great Lakes. It looks like horse shit, but it's clean. The next step would be to get in shape. The bus and rail system may be ending soon, and it's going to be a long walk to downtown, or anywhere else.
We can survive, but we must be able to create an environment of prosperity. I'll keep going on this thread in the future.
Yours Sincerely,
JohnJenkins2315@yahoo.com
Without going into too much detail, we're in trouble. And we know we're in trouble. We don't have the resources that we say that we do, and the ones we do have are running out. Yes, I am a conservative (in the literal sense) so I wish to conserve.
But what would I do? I've been reading up on it, and I think the best thing to do would be to stay near a source of water. You know what they say about the Great Lakes. It looks like horse shit, but it's clean. The next step would be to get in shape. The bus and rail system may be ending soon, and it's going to be a long walk to downtown, or anywhere else.
We can survive, but we must be able to create an environment of prosperity. I'll keep going on this thread in the future.
Yours Sincerely,
JohnJenkins2315@yahoo.com
Tuesday, January 15, 2019
Section 8 Woes
What else can I do? The new is that Trump sent an executive order to Carson to raise the rents on Section 8. Everyone's doing a high-five on this one. To me, it just another example of Trump's brilliance. I don't like executive orders, but if we need to have them, this is the best one for me.
Even as a poor person myself, I can see the advantage here. If I cannot come up with a way to not only survive, but thrive, then I shouldn't be alive. The thing that separates us from the animals is that we can evolve and adapt. If we cease to do so, by decree of government, then we cease to be human.
Ironically, most of the people who laud welfare will never experience themselves. Your children get a check. Your children get food stamps. Your children live paycheck to paycheck. My children get the executive suite.
Monday, January 14, 2019
My Most Embarrassing Moment
My Most Embarrassing Moment
Back in 2016, I was in a bind. I had been poor my entire life, every single day, and I wanted out. I wanted out so badly that I was willing to do anything. At the time I had just finished a book on programming by Steve Heller. It was a C++ book.
Suddenly I got an idea in mind. I saw all of these people making big money on Kickstarter. I wanted to be one of them. Some of these companies made billions, billions. I wanted to win like that. But I didn't know how.
I had this idea from reading the C++ book, and without researching its efficacy I hastily created a plan to build my first Kickstarter. If my past was any indication, the Kickstarter would simply be ignored and I'd stay poor.
But something happened that I would never forget. Over 7,000 people viewed the Kickstarter in a little over a week. At that point I realized that I was totally unprepared for success. Many people emailed me who completely understood my thought process and what I was trying to do. But for the most part I was lambasted.
And deservedly so. The thing that stood out most to me was the fact that if I had done the slightest bit of research on my idea, I would have realized that my idea was already patented and already existed. It's existed for decades, but I didn't know.
My one chance at fame and I lost it all, before I started. It was because of my thinking. I'll never have that kind of audience again, but I do know that knowing what you're talking about is worth a lot more than fame. In this world, people who know nothing get featured on the big screen, their name in lights, proving that you don't have to know everything to be popular.
But everything that happened to me was my fault. I'm a black man. I know better. And now I will have to pay the price. I will never have that kind of spark again, but I will know what I'm talking about before I speak.
Suddenly I got an idea in mind. I saw all of these people making big money on Kickstarter. I wanted to be one of them. Some of these companies made billions, billions. I wanted to win like that. But I didn't know how.
I had this idea from reading the C++ book, and without researching its efficacy I hastily created a plan to build my first Kickstarter. If my past was any indication, the Kickstarter would simply be ignored and I'd stay poor.
But something happened that I would never forget. Over 7,000 people viewed the Kickstarter in a little over a week. At that point I realized that I was totally unprepared for success. Many people emailed me who completely understood my thought process and what I was trying to do. But for the most part I was lambasted.
And deservedly so. The thing that stood out most to me was the fact that if I had done the slightest bit of research on my idea, I would have realized that my idea was already patented and already existed. It's existed for decades, but I didn't know.
My one chance at fame and I lost it all, before I started. It was because of my thinking. I'll never have that kind of audience again, but I do know that knowing what you're talking about is worth a lot more than fame. In this world, people who know nothing get featured on the big screen, their name in lights, proving that you don't have to know everything to be popular.
But everything that happened to me was my fault. I'm a black man. I know better. And now I will have to pay the price. I will never have that kind of spark again, but I will know what I'm talking about before I speak.
Thursday, January 10, 2019
The Shutdown
The government shutdown may be over. I don't think that I should spent too much time thinking about government shutdown. It seems that ever since George W. Bush, whoever gets into office gets shut down by the opposition.
The truth is that America just owes so much money. Over 160 Trillion dollars. I keep thinking that if I had only one one millionth of that, I would b set. But oh well. I'm really vascillating about voting for Trump. Was it a mistake, or not?
Trump is bold, and he's already done more for me than any other president. But the drawback is that...I don't know:
For one thing, he things really small. It's hard to follow someone who is so focused on the small stuff.
On the other hand, he's always complaining about how unfair life is to him. And that's a loser's mentality. As men, we want to take what is rightfully ours, not be given it.
The truth is that America just owes so much money. Over 160 Trillion dollars. I keep thinking that if I had only one one millionth of that, I would b set. But oh well. I'm really vascillating about voting for Trump. Was it a mistake, or not?
Trump is bold, and he's already done more for me than any other president. But the drawback is that...I don't know:
For one thing, he things really small. It's hard to follow someone who is so focused on the small stuff.
On the other hand, he's always complaining about how unfair life is to him. And that's a loser's mentality. As men, we want to take what is rightfully ours, not be given it.
Wednesday, January 9, 2019
Kasich Was The Better Pick
I should've chosen Kasich. He was so mild-mannered, so accomplished. I chose Trump because he appeared to be saying what everyone was thinking. Of course, I behaved the opposite way that Trump did, but what did I know? I was a poor, broke loser with non family and no future. Success had to be the opposite of me, right? Well I was wrong. Trump talks a great game, but real life always catches up. The run up in stocks was deceptive at first. It seemed like he had this special "Winner's" DNA that I could not come close to.
But now the country is doing worse than 2008. Trump only added to the deficits. Trump looked like a dark horse, but really he was the establishment candidate. Anybody could've created that platform. Just read a conservative news website for a few months and you've got every element of Trumps platform. And that was part of the appeal, for me. He conformed to my biases, and he was RICH. I wanted to be rich more than anything at the time.
The beginning of Trump's presidency raised the eternal question: Do the ends justify the means? That's a hard question to answer, as a human, and a man. It's hard to answer that question because both are true. The ends absolutely justify the means. The original medicines were found by trying every poisonous, inert, destructive substance until, magically, somebody didn't die. All of this fancy scientific research we have now is just fluff compared to that.
But at the same time, no. The ends never justify the means. Trump will be so busy bailing out his accomplices and taking "deals" that he wont have the time or the energy - or the good will - necessary to push through my agenda. I wanted an end to welfare and affirmative action, but it's not going to happen this way. Success doesn't happen overnight. It happens with hard work and social skills, not a few tweets and a trial.
I'm sorry Kasich. From now on, you're my model for a Republican president.
JohnJenkins2315@yahoo.com
But now the country is doing worse than 2008. Trump only added to the deficits. Trump looked like a dark horse, but really he was the establishment candidate. Anybody could've created that platform. Just read a conservative news website for a few months and you've got every element of Trumps platform. And that was part of the appeal, for me. He conformed to my biases, and he was RICH. I wanted to be rich more than anything at the time.
The beginning of Trump's presidency raised the eternal question: Do the ends justify the means? That's a hard question to answer, as a human, and a man. It's hard to answer that question because both are true. The ends absolutely justify the means. The original medicines were found by trying every poisonous, inert, destructive substance until, magically, somebody didn't die. All of this fancy scientific research we have now is just fluff compared to that.
But at the same time, no. The ends never justify the means. Trump will be so busy bailing out his accomplices and taking "deals" that he wont have the time or the energy - or the good will - necessary to push through my agenda. I wanted an end to welfare and affirmative action, but it's not going to happen this way. Success doesn't happen overnight. It happens with hard work and social skills, not a few tweets and a trial.
I'm sorry Kasich. From now on, you're my model for a Republican president.
JohnJenkins2315@yahoo.com
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